


Solar Eclipse of the Heart

by vigilantvirgil



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 05:33:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18162062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vigilantvirgil/pseuds/vigilantvirgil
Summary: Virgil hasn't had the easiest life: working day to day at a mediocre job trying to help his single mother pay the bills for his sickly little sister. The only thing that keeps him going his is art blog and the mysterious person he talks to in chats known only as Logic.





	Solar Eclipse of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally posted on my tumblr (vigilantvirgil.tumblr.com) under the name "Splintered Dreams". It has since been deleted there and reposted here only.

“You’re welcome, ma'am. Hope you have a good day.”

Virgil took a deep breath and released it slowly as he walked back to his cart. Yet another mundane day at his mundane job, helping customers left and right. It was early July and a lot of parents were in the store purchasing back-to-school items for their kids. As he cut open another box to stock on the shelf, his mind flashed back to his graduation ceremony. Visions of his fellow classmates and their families on that day were not horrible memories, but a pang of loneliness followed it.

His graduation wasn’t something too big in his life. He had graduated alone. Sure, all of his classmates were there, but his mother was absent. She had to stay with his sister, which wasn’t anything new and Virgil didn’t mind it at all, but he couldn’t help the loneliness that surrounded his heart.

“Hey yo, V-man!”

Virgil groaned as he turned around, breaking down a cardboard box. “Yes, Martin?”

“How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Marty?” Martin interjected over Virgil’s voice. “Anyway, Lisa told me to come find you! There’s more freight in the hardware department we need to go get.”

Virgil felt his ears ringing. Martin had the most annoying voice. “Alright, alright. I’ll go get it.”

Without waiting for Martin to say anything in response, Virgil grabbed his now empty cart and started down a back aisle. This route would take longer, but at this point it accomplished two things: it would take longer to get to his destination which took up more of his shift, and two, he would be able to avoid customers. Today was just too much of a busy day and he had to get done with the freight as soon as possible. It was Thursday. Thursday was hospital visit day and there wasn’t anything that would keep him from going.

-

It may have been nearly 100 degrees outside but that didn’t mean Virgil wasn’t still wrapped in his black hoodie with his hood up walking down a fairly busy street.

“Ugh, come on Mom.” Virgil murmured. “Why aren’t you answering my texts? What’s going on with Mini?” His heart began racing, but he refused to panic. As he rounded the corner, Virgil shoved his cell phone into his pocket.

Just in front of him, at the end of the road, was the entrance to the children’s hospital. The courtyard was a buzz with different people and kids, most of them still attached to their IVs, playing catch with their families. It was a fairly nice day and the sight did bring a smile to Virgil’s face. No child deserved to spend their entire childhood in a hospital.

Virgil walked in through the automatic doors. He met eyes with the nurse at the front desk and she smiled at him.

“Good afternoon, Virgil.” she said as she pulled her hair into a ponytail.

Virgil nodded in her direction before stopping in front of the elevator, pressing the up button. He fidgeted with the string on his hoodie while he waited. Suddenly, his cell phone buzzed and he pulled the device out of his pocket so quickly he nearly dropped it.

Virgil. I hope you’re on your way to the hospital. Mini’s not doing well today.

“Oh, Mini.” Virgil whispered. He looked back up to the elevator, pressing the up button again and again.

As soon as the door opened, Virgil pushed his way in; he was very grateful the elevator was empty. He reached and pressed the 14th floor without even looking at the keypad and leaned against the bar in the corner. Virgil’s hands gripped the silver railing, rubbing it with his thumbs. There was no way this elevator could move any slower.

A near silent ding announced the arrival to the 14th floor and Virgil pushed his way through the opening as soon as he could fit. His legs carried him down multiple hallways with so much familiarity. Virgil did his best to block out all of the sounds, medicine smells, and people talking as he passed them, trying not to run. Within seconds, Virgil arrived at the children’s wing waiting room, spotting his mother in the far corner.

“Mom.” Virgil called out, trying to get her attention without being loud.

She looked up and Virgil could see her cheeks were red and puffy, proof she had been crying.

“Virgil. My baby.” She stood up, meeting her son half way and wrapping her arms around him. If there was anyone in the world who could hug him without asking, there were only two who had that permission: his little sister and his mother. “Mini had an attack today. She’s-she’s still asleep, but the doctor’s were so afraid this was it, but she-she made it through.” Virgil held his mother close, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his chest.

“She’s very strong.” Virgil assured her. His emotions were everywhere but at this point, his mother felt so small in his grasp and he knew he had to be strong. “Can I go back and see her?”

His mother released him and stepped back, but she slid her hands down his arms to hold his hands. “Yes, of course honey.” She turned to the secretary’s desk. “Ruth?”

The nurse standing behind the desk turned to face her. “Yes, Violet?”

“Virgil wants to go see Mini. That’s okay, right?” Violet’s voice dropped a bit, breaking on the last words.

Ruth’s eyes softened at Violet. “Of course he can.” She turned her gaze to meet Virgil’s. “After what happened today, she’s in a different room. Let me show you.” Ruth grabbed a couple of folders from her table, before walking to meet Virgil.

With one last side hug to his mother, Virgil followed Ruth down an opposite hallway than normal. He felt his heart start to beat faster. This was the hallway for critical kids.

Ruth stopped at room 1408, picking up the folder in the basket attached to the wall. She flipped through the rather large binder before putting it back.

“It seems they gave her quite a bit of medication earlier to help with pain. She’s probably still very out of it.” Ruth explained. She gave Virgil a soft smile and a pat on his arm before walking back the way they came.

Virgil stood still, staring at the door before taking a large breath and walking in.

As the door squeaked open, Virgil could hear the television on, playing a cartoon. He walked slowly past the curtain to see his little sister laying asleep in the bed.

So many wires. Too many wires. Why so many wires?

Mini’s face was nearly completely covered by a breathing mask and for some reason, she looked so much smaller than she actually was. Her bright red hair, which she had refused to cut even while she was sick, was matted with sweat, sticking to her face and her pillow. Virgil walked to the edge of the bed, just barely touching his sister’s hand with his fingertips. It almost felt like she would break.

“Big brother.”

Virgil’s eyes widened and shot to Mini’s face. “M-Mini?” He squeaked.

Mini managed a smile beneath the breathing mask. “Virgy, I missed you.”

“Shhh, don’t talk, okay? You need to rest, okay?” Virgil grabbed a nearby rolling stool to sit down. He grabbed her hand gently, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand. “Just blink to answer my questions.” Mini blinked twice and Virgil smiled. “Okay, first question, do you feel better than yesterday?” Mini blinked once and Virgil’s heart dropped. “O-okay, do you feel scared right now?” She only blinked once again. “Can you tell me why?”

“Because my big bro is here.” She said simply, squeezing his hand as tightly as she could. “And mama too. I love you both.” She paused, her breathing erratic. “But, please-” Mini took a deep breath. “Please go to school. Mama says you don’t want to go, but I’m okay. I promise I’m–”

Suddenly, Mini’s eyes drooped closed and her grip on Virgil’s hand loosened.

“Mini.” Virgil took in a shaky breath, wiping his eyes with his sleeve quickly.

The door to his sister’s room opened, causing Virgil to jump, spinning around on the chair. He did not let go of Mini’s hand.

A older, balding man walked in from behind the curtain; his white doctor coat waving in the air. His glasses sat very low on the bridge of his nose as he read the binder in his arms, eyes scanning over the paperwork. The doctor’s eyes were narrow and very blank; Virgil was normally able to read people’s faces but this guy–he was a blank slate.

“Minerva Sanders?”

“Her name is Mini.” Virgil said immediately, his tone harsher than he intended. Mini didn’t like her full legal name.

The doctor cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, Mini. Okay.” He scanned over the binder again. “Age 10 years old, indoctrinated in this hospital since age 3 for weak immune system among many other issues.”

“And?” Virgil knew his face probably showed annoyance but at this point he didn’t care. After so many years of seeing doctors, Virgil knew most of them by name and face, but he didn’t recognize this person and he didn’t like him either. “Mini’s been here basically her whole life. That isn’t anything new.”

“Ah yes, of course.” The doctor cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I’ve just transferred to this hospital and I’m trying to become more familiar with the long standing residents of this wing.”

Virgil immediately felt like an asshole but he shrugged, spinning the chair back to his sister. He brushed her bangs away from her forehead, standing up and placing a kiss there.

“I love you little sis. I’ll be back soon.” Virgil whispered, praying she would hear him. Mini didn’t react.

He left without another word to the doctor, quickening his pace back to the waiting room. As he arrived, he saw his mother on the phone. She hung up as he sat down next to her.

“Mini woke up while I was in there.” Virgil stated and Violet’s eyes widened, this time with happy tears. “She told me she doesn’t feel better than yesterday though. But she’s not scared because we’re here.”

Violet’s bottom lip trembled before she bit it, obviously pushing her tears back. “I see, well, that’s good. Virgil-” she turned and reached into her purse. “This arrived for you yesterday. I wasn’t able to give it to you until now.” Her voice was faltering with nervousness.

Virgil took the envelope from his mother’s trembling hands. Their eyes met as Virgil took the single slip of paper out and unfolded it to read.

_Dear Virgil Spencer,_

_Congratulations! You have received this letter to inform you regarding your acceptance to Fairbound University in the fall of 2018! Due to your high grades and test scores from your community college and your outstanding art admission, our staff is convinced you will become a great addtion to our faculty._

_You will find attached the paperwork needed…_

Virgil felt his hands begin to shake and his mouth go dry. “M-Mom-”

“Now, honey, please.” Violet cut him off, her voice firm but still soft. “You deserve to move on with your life. You can’t stay in this backwater town forever.” Virgil opened his mouth to protest but she shook her head. “No. You’re going and that’s final. You are too talented to let that go to waste.” Violet smiled. “Mini and I will be fine.”

“But Mom, this college is all the way across the country! I’ll be thousands of miles away!” Virgil couldn’t hide the panic in his voice. “What if something happens to Mini? What if something happens to you?” He turned the paper back to face his mother, pointing at his last name. “What if that asshole comes back and I’m not around?”

Violet released a breath, biting her top lip. “I’m sorry, your name change hasn’t come back yet from the state so I had to…” Her voice trailed off. Then she cleared her throat. “Regardless, he’s not even in this town and he doesn’t know where we are. Mini and I will be fine.” He grabbed Virgil’s hands, her motion quick and desperate. “Make something of yourself, my son. My baby. Please.”

Her face fell and she hung her head to the floor, trying to hide her tears.

“Oh Mom.” Virgil murmured softly as he pulled his mother’s small frame into his chest, hugging her tightly. “I’ll go. But I’m coming home every long vacation. You have to agree to that.” Violet didn’t speak but he felt her nod her head. “Good, thank you.”

Violet pulled away, wiping her tears with her fingers. “Okay–okay. I’m gonna go see Mini and her doctor. Why don’t you go home and get your stuff ready? The college is giving you a full art scholarship so your room and board are taken care of already, but you’ll need to pack your essentials.”

Virgil stood up, grunting in affirmation. “Fine.”

“Also, the folder with all information is to the college is on the kitchen table. Please read through it.” Violet insisted.

Waving goodbye to his mother, Virgil made his way out of the hospital. With a sense of calm washing over him, he realized he hadn’t checked his tumblr all day, which was pretty out of character. He hated to really compliment anything about himself, but if there was one thing outside of his family he was incredibly proud of, it was his art blog. Known to the tumblr universe as anxietyriddenartist, Virgil had amassed nearly 1,500,000 followers for his traditional art. As a natural introvert, Virgil was able to let his personality out through his art and his blog. Tumblr was his home away from home. As Virgil walked into the elevator, popping his headphones from his pocket onto his head, he opened the app. His messages were always filled with people asking for free art, advice, just fans of his work, but there was only one conversation he always checked.

**@logicsigns1111: Hello Anxiety. Hope today finds you well. [7:15am]**

**@logicsigns1111: I assume you’re busy with work this morning which is fine. Today is also Thursday so I’m sure you’ll be visiting your sister as well. [7:59am]**

**@logicsigns1111: Also, Anxiety, when you have a moment I’d like to discuss something with you. It’s nothing of great importance so don’t concern yourself too much with it. I know you have quite a bit on your plate. [9:45am]**

**@logicsigns1111: It’s a bit past 11:30am now so I truly hope you and your family are alright. Please message me if there’s anything I can do. [11:32am]**

Virgil looked at the time listed on his phone: 12:15pm. He pulled up the keyboard.

**@anxietyriddenartist: Hey Logic. Sorry. I went to the hospital immediately after work. When I got there, I learned Mini had an attack so I was really distracted, I’m sorry. [12:17pm]**

Within a few seconds, Logic responded.

**@logicsigns1111: It’s quite alright. How is your sister? [12:18pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: She’s not great but she’s stable. I was able to talk to her today. [12:25pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: Well, that is very good to hear. [12:35pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: Are you okay? [12:36pm]**

Virgil scoffed but couldn’t prevent the small smile that spread across his face. Logic had been his friend for nearly a year now and he was always quick to check on Virgil’s mental and physical health. Guess it was a part of his natural disposition since he was working on his doctorate.

**@anxietyriddenartist: Yes, Doctor Logic. While the situation with my sister has got me stressed, my mom just dropped something else on me. [12:43pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: She did? What did she do? [12:45pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: She turned in my completed application to a college I wasn’t going to turn in and... I got accepted. [12:45pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: How is that a bad thing? [12:46pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: Well, for one, I have to move all the way across the country. What if something happens to my sister? [12:54pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: What if my stupid asshole father comes to find my mother and I’m not here? [12:54pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: My mom wants me to move on with my life but– [12:54pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: Okay. Anxiety, you need to calm down. [12:55pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: I understand you don’t want to leave your family, especially your sick sister. But you are not able to do anything for your sister. I’m sure she would want you to move on with your life. [12:57pm]**

Virgil stopped walking as he read that line from Logic. Mini’s small voice filtered back into mind.

_Please go to school._

He continued walking, arriving at his apartment complex within minutes. Virgil jogged up the stairs, causing his auburn hair to fall into his face. Virgil stopped at the second door, unlocked the door and dashed inside, opening up his laptop. Scattered all over the laptop desk were scraps pieces of printer paper or cardstock, pens, pencils, charcoal, acrylic paints, copic markers and it had been dubbed “the disaster desk” by his mother but it was obvious she didn’t mind. His laptop screen came to life after a few seconds (Virgil needed a new laptop but that was a discussion for another day) and after clicking on the Google Chrome icon, his homepage, set up as tumblr, opened and he clicked to his messages to respond to Logic.

**@logicsigns1111: I’m sure your mother wants nothing but the best for you too, Anxiety. [1:01pm]**

Virgil sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Logic was right of course.

**@anxietyriddenartist: Yeah, I know. Ugh. I just– it’s so much to handle right now. [1:20pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: If you don’t mind me asking, and maybe it’ll be a distraction to you, what college will you be attending this fall? [1:23pm]**

Virgil pulled the folded envelope out of his pocket, looking at the front.

**@anxietyriddenartist: It’s called Fairbound University in California. I chose it originally because it’s got a really good art course, especially for traditional. [1:25pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: ….are you sure? [1:26pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: Uh, yeah. What’s with the …? [1:26pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: Anxiety, I’ve told you before and I guess you’ve forgotten. [1:28pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: That’s the college I attend. [1:28pm]**

Virgil’s heart skipped a beat and then began to race. With everything that happened, the fact the college name felt familiar he had always related to the fact he and his mother had done research into the college nearly four months prior. But after reading Logic’s message, he instantaneously remembered that.

As well as another memory.

_“Logic, I’m–I’m scared.”_

_“Anxiety, you need to calm down.”_

_“I CAN’T! You don’t… you don’t understand. My sister. She’s–”_

_“Will it make you feel better to talk about it?”_

_“My sister, Mini, she’s in surgery right now. My mom is crying; the nurse is helping her because I’m stuck in the corner of the room. My heart won’t stop racing and I can’t– I can’t.”_

_“Anxiety.”_

_“…”_

_“I want you to take a breath as I count until I get to four.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“One…two…three…four…”_

_Deep intake._

_“Now, hold for seven seconds. One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…” Pause. “Now breathe out for eight seconds. One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight….”_

_Exhale._

_“Thanks Logic.”_

_“You’re quite welcome. I am very sure your sister will be just fine.”_

_Pause again._

_“Is this okay? Talking like this, I mean? I know we are still basically strangers.”_

_“Anxiety, it’s fine. We’ve been talking online for nearly seven months. There are plenty of things you know about me which no one else does. I’m sure that rings true for you to me as well. I trust you and I wish nothing but the best for you.”_

_“Logic. I wish–I wish you were here with me.”_

_“I know.” Pause. “I wish I could help you more.”_

_“No, you’ve helped me so much. More than you’ll ever know.”_

_“I could say the same.”_

_Deep breath, shaky but better than before._

_“Logic?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“My name. Can I tell you?”_

_“Hmm. That’s up to you. If you share your name, I’ll share mine.”_

_I begin to bite my lip. Will he laugh at my name? Will he think less of me? I can’t lose him. He means too much. I can’t- I can’t take that. Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan’t-_

_“Anxiety. It can wait.” Logic spoke more gentle than he ever had before. “Names can hold lots of meaning for many different people.”_

_“Okay…”_

_“I’m sorry but I must go. My class is about to start and if I didn’t have to turn in a thesis and do a presentation, I would stay on the phone with you.”_

_“It’s okay. I understand. Go kick some ass.”_

_Logic laughs airily, which causes me to break a smile. My heart flutters. What is this feeling?_

**@anxietyriddenartist: Oh yeah, I remember that now. Well, I guess, after nearly a year we will finally meet in real life? [1:43pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: If that is what you wish. [1:45pm]**

**@logicsigns1111: I am not against the idea. I would like to meet you. [1:46pm]**

**@anxietyriddenartist: Then yes. I do want to meet you. [1:47pm]**

More than I’m willing to admit outloud or in text form. Virgil thought as he waited for Logic’s response. The memory of his panic attack and the only time he had ever heard Logic’s smooth, calm, firm, yet warm and concerned voice. He spoke with such confidence and assurance that it made Virgil feel so comfortable and safe. _God I sound like I’m in love with him._

Virgil blinked a couple of times, a realization washing over him.

_Oh…shit._


End file.
